You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize