Well douche your snatch and let's go!
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
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How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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