He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
It's like God shit irony all over that family
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
