I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
