Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
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