So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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