There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
