erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
