i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
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I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
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He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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