Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
