I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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