I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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