I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
