Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
she peed on how many people?
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
