i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
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