I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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