the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
