how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
Your dad touched me again.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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