last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Randomize