we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
