I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
