What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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