I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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