now i know why i became what i already was.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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