I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
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Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
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I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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