isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Randomize
