shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
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