There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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