everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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