Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
