i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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