after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
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