Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house