apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?