i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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