Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Randomize
