It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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