i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
You need Xanax blowdarts
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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