glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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