he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I would fuck him just for his dog
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