I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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