yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Randomize
