with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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