Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
