"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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