Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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