Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
