remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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