all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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