I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I just found puke in my bra..
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I smell like Dick and happiness
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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