yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
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