the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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