my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
