Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
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