i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Randomize
