Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
