I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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