kristin has been a bad kristin
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
