Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
